New Year’s resolutions: how we should balance self-reprehension with self-rewarding

**Today is the last day for entering my giveaway for a free book! I pick a winner tomorrow. Good luck!**

New Year's resolutions

So the last post I wrote for this blog wasn’t about books, and this one won’t be, either. It’s the end of the year, and I’m juggling a lot and wishing I had time and the money to afford/justify a real vacation. I’m kind of exhausted. And thinking back on the past months, as we all do once thoughts of New Year’s resolutions roll around, I wonder — like everyone else does — how I want to improve for the year ahead.

And that makes me think about how hard we are on ourselves when the thought we end our year on is, “How can I do better?” As if we haven’t been doing good enough.

Part of that is positive thinking: How can we make ourselves happier, healthier, and more successful in the future? But a lot of it stems from poor self-reflection and negative societal values. We’re never nice enough, skinny enough, or rich enough, and January is the first month of the next 12 best months of our lives … hypothetically.

The ritual of looking back on the year that’s ending isn’t all that different from checking off a list of “good” and “bad” things we did every night. Maybe we helped a neighbor or friend. Or we sent a kind email, saved money, paid our bills on time, patched up a relationship, etc. But the list of things we did wrong — or could have done better, or worse, didn’t do at all — tends to run much longer in our minds. I know I do this all the time. I don’t reward myself nearly as much as I reprehend myself for a job not nearly well done. That’s not right.

So my annual resolutions are sometimes fair (work on my novel more regularly) and sometimes a little unfair (blog more even though I’m always so pressed for time). It’s a difficult balancing act that we all do. Some of us are parents. Some of us work multiple jobs. And let’s not even talk about stress!

But this can lead to a lot of flogging and little rewarding for what we have accomplished. Maybe half of our New Year’s tradition of setting resolutions needs to be congratulating ourselves, celebrating the old year as well as the new one, and counting all our successes.

What are yours? I’m proud of myself for getting an article published on The Escapist — expanding my freelance portfolio is and always will be my goal. I’ve been having a great time writing for VentureBeat/GamesBeat as well (it’s been eight months now), and I’m proud of all the hard work I’ve done. I’m also happy to have started this blog and to have the chance to talk with so many of you wonderful people! I’m also excited for having my most successful freelancing year yet, even if the progress is gradual, and for moving in to an apartment with my boyfriend.

In the new year, though, I do want to be kinder, more thoughtful, and concentrate even harder on my writing passions: my novel, my blog, and all of my web articles. Plus, read more books — duh! :P

Of course, I need that break first. Christmas could not get here sooner!

How about you? What are your goals for 2013, and what about 2012 are you proud of?

cat new year's

2 thoughts on “New Year’s resolutions: how we should balance self-reprehension with self-rewarding

  1. You’ve had a great year with so much to be proud of. It must feel fantastic looking back on it and seeing everything you’ve accomplished. Good for you! It’s inspiring…Congratulations!

    2013…hmmmmm….The biggest goa has got to be conquering my horrible worry habit. It’s affecting too much of my life. 2012’s big accomplishment? Taking more steps to simplify our lives….and it feels pretty good. I hope 2013 is even better where that’s concerned, it gives me a lot more time to enjoy life.

    Definitely 2013 will include more writing AND reading. No doubt about it. :)

    Happy Holidays Stephanie! ENJOY YOUR BREAK!!!

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